Holy crap we are already at week seven. Shit. I know, it’s Sunday again. And I probably won’t be posting this coming week until Sunday either. OMG, leave me alone, I’m old. Can I just use that as an excuse for everything? I don’t want to wear pants that don’t have an elastic waist—leave me alone, I’m old. I didn’t wash my dishes from lunch yesterday—I’m old, leave me alone. Oh, who am I kidding? I don’t ever wash dishes. The Man of Action does the dishes in this house. (I meal plan, buy all the groceries, and cook. I don’t know, that seems unbalanced now that I think on it, but then again I REALLY HATE DOING DISHES, so I’ll take it.) Keep reading for more Man of Action being a great partner news of the week. I should probably change the name of this blog to “The Man of Action Doing Things.” Redundant but accurate.

Anyway, just to clarify, I am not THAT old. I don’t care if kids walk on my lawn and I still drive over 80 mph on the freeway.

Okay, moving on! This week saw another paralysis of indecision. That could be the new title of the blog too. (Or an emo-core band name.) I do pride myself on my decision making skills, but even so, I have moments of doubt. This happens to me in all types of design I do. I am a good visualizer and for the most part what I see in my head can be made in the real world. But on occasion the real world refuses to match what’s in my head. And then I have to pause and figure it out. (After I yell obscenities at some random-ass inanimate object and then slump in defeat and pout for a while. Oh, and comfort the dogs because they are v. anxious and yelling freaks them out. Of course I try not to upset them, but sometimes frustration needs an out. Leave me alone, I’m old and ornery.) Usually I just need to tweak a little thing in my design, but other times I have been known to scrap it all and start over. 

That happened this week with the trellis design. And before I explain the doubt, let me recap the brief for this trellis. It is going to replace the ugly metal railing on the driveway side of our porch, seen here:

These railings along the front and that side of the porch were clearly added later in the life of the house. They don’t match the colonial bungalow feel at all. (Our theory is that they were added in the mid 1990s when the vinyl siding was added to the house.) The front railings are just gone now, but we have to put something in the place of that end railing in order to complete our totally fenced in front yard. Otherwise the dogs can just jump off that edge of the porch and terrorize the mail carrier or the UPS driver or the local wildlife, etc. (Tiny dog Vash would never leave the porch even if it was wide open, but high prey drive Chantry would absolutely lunge at the squirrels/raccoons/opossums/random piece of litter that looks like it’s walking.) I want a trellis that also works as a privacy screen here instead. The trellis will anchor to the top header of the porch and terminate in large horizontal planters on the porch. It will allow for more green plants on the porch and take up some of the dead space between the steps and the front door.

In my head this trellis was a series of concentric squares, like this rough drawing:

It’s super rough, but that’s how the Man and I work together, I sketch a bare bones, he gives input, and then I sketch a better drawing, like so:

I had this idea to add Pewabic tile (from the Detroit area of Michigan that we live in) center art piece and I do like what this looks like, but it does NOT feel right for this house. It’s too mid-century modern looking. I love mid-century modern, but not for the exterior of this house. It doesn’t work tonally. Our house is a cottage bungalow, it’s not fancy, it’s informal, and this is too sleek.

So, I looked at a bunch of books and inspiration photos and…despaired. Nothing felt right. I started sketching on my iPad—just random design ideas. And I hated them. And then I took my indecision to the Man and we bounced ideas around. I took a couple days just to think. Or, rather, avoid thinking. I hate indecision. I hate the feeling that I don’t have control of every last detail. I hate the idea that I don’t have a concrete vision in my head. So, yeah, I avoided that feeling like the plague. I focused on other things.

Unfortunately, because this is the One Room Challenge, I could not wallow in despair for very long. We have to get this shit done. Something the Man said in our earlier brainstorm had been sticking in my head. He said he wanted something more chaotic. Less controlled. Which is what I was feeling but hadn’t acknowledged. I knew the design above was too sleek and modern. And I was stuck there.

So I sat back down and sketched chaos. But I couldn’t figure out how to engineer the build. I am usually a practical designer, I do try to design while keeping in mind how to actually accomplish building. It makes me feel better, like I have control. But this situation was feeling so opposite of that. First no idea for design and then no idea how to build what I want. I HAVE LOST CONTROL. And I may have yelled my frustration at the iPad while the Man was listening, and he sits down and says this: “Just draw what you want and I will figure out how to build it. I can make it work, whatever you want.” I almost cried. Seriously. I was SO FRUSTRATED and at the end of my patience. And dude says that. I swear that is one of the most romantic things he has ever said. He’s a keeper.

Of course, type A personality that I am, I couldn’t just sketch complete chaos and hand it over. But that declaration by the Man of Action loosened up some of my brick-locked thinking and ideas started flowing. And also, too, I can’t really do total chaos. My detail-oriented brain can’t let go of that much control. I do want a build that feels substantial and architectural, with a dash of chaos to informalize it. So I aimed for controlled chaos. Oh, uh huh, you think that’s an oxymoron? And to that I say: leave me alone, I’m old and don’t care.

The Man had sketched this when originally talking about chaos:

Heh. No. Too much chaos. Here’s where we’ve landed right now:

See what I mean about controlled chaos? Or do I only make sense to myself at this point?

Some other things that happened this week:

New blind at the other end of the porch went up. This helps block the busy street on the side of our property. 

I love it. Matches the black and white exterior and I got it for a song. Normally blinds this size are around $600-$1000, depending on how custom the size is and what fabric you choose. (And even more if you want it motorized. We are not that fancy.) I got this one from Wayfair for a steep discount as an opened box/return. It was a final sale for $175. Score.

You can also see I painted the window and the front door storm windows. I love that the black makes the busyness of the storm window panes recede.

Lanterns went up on the columns with the cutest lantern hooks.

The string of lights around the perimeter of the ceiling got a thorough cleaning and went back up. You can see a glimpse of the rolling tray table I painted green to hold drinks for entertaining. It used to be red. We got it from a garage sale very early in our marriage, back when we thrifted almost everything. We’ve had it for over 20 years. I just keep repainting it.

We are on track to have everything done by Sunday, the end of the ORC. Except one thing that won’t happen: the ceiling fan install. We have the fan in hand, but I haven’t been able to find an electrician who is willing to fit this little job into their schedules. It’s not a big job and contractors are absolutely booked around here. I actually proposed that we put it up without wiring it yet and the Man had to convince me that was crazy. (He’s not just the Man of Action, he’s the Man of Practicality and spends a lot of his time talking me off insane ledges. You all should feel sorry for him. I’m old and too set in my bonkers ways to sympathize.) We’ll get it up at some point this summer, I hope. Just not by next Sunday.

Come back next week to see what existential crisis I might be having. Who knows, it could be entertaining. See you soon!